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Don’t you wish you had a manual that could show you how to deal with your first heartbreak? Don’t you wish the title read “You will be OK.”

Heartbreaks are not only an emotional burden, but they are physically painful too. They will affect your work, your focus, your own will and discipline, and they will have you questioning your worth.

Your only friends are Ben & Jerry’s. Yes, heartbreaks can be one of the toughest pains to survive but give it time, and you’ll heal. Here are 5 things that will help you overcome.

1 Stay Busy, Girl.

Join a workout class or start sewing- girl find something! Staying busy has its pros and cons but it’s about establishing balance. On one hand, you are trying to keep up with life and be productive. But on the other hand, all that business can keep you away from facing your current reality. So you want to make sure you develop a healthy balance of productivity to not blur out the lines between coping and avoidance. 

Therapists say that suppressing emotions after a breakup is very common but can affect how you interact with people. We begin to withdraw and begin to act inappropriately due to our lack of control over our emotions. 

You should also use this time to discover a new hobby, or revisit one. Take the opportunity to be productive to really get to know yourself again and maybe even reinvent yourself.

2 Lean On Your Tribe.

Boy, will you be thankful for the tribe that you were blessed with. You’ve probably already gone into a total strike against everything- spending a great amount of your time in bed and listening to heartbreak songs. Luckily, you have great friends that are willing to be strong for you while you’re going through this.

They may call repeatedly, double text, and even drop by unexpectedly. Be thankful. 

A study showed that having solid friends help promote brain activity, ease stress, and make better life choices.

Find people that are willing to understand you, and be there through the good times and the bad times. You may have to be that friend in the future.

3 Maybe it’s time for some “Dear Diary…”

A journal is great for everything releasing burdens. Writing down your goals, emotions and feelings can evoke mindfulness! Sometimes you don’t want to hear from anyone but you still need to get your thoughts and feelings out. Jot them down and when you reread them to yourself, you’ll learn a lot about yourself. 

A journal won’t talk back to you nor will it judge you. This is the place of safety and comfort.

4 Own All Those Feels.

Being honest with yourself about your feelings and emotions will help you a great deal during a heartbreak. Sit those emotions down for a little bit and study them. 

Making a conscious effort to check in with yourself and asking questions like “How did you feel today?” “Why do you feel this way?” can be extremely healing.

Being present also helps you to be intuned with the thoughts, emotions, and body sensations you have within, it allows you to communicate better with yourself and others.

Don’t sugarcoat anything during this time, nor brush it off. Own those feelings proudly! You are human and entitled to feel any way you want, as long as it makes sense to you. If you’re not okay, you don’t have to say you are. It’s okay to not be okay during this time.

Own it, and work up from there.

5 Remember that Forgiveness Is for You and Not for Anyone Else.

Forgiveness is for you to heal and not anyone else. The healing process begins when you forgive the person that hurt you. It releases you from a feeling that reminds you of pain and disappointment. 

When forgiving, it’s important that you are forgiving anyone who hurt you in your own time. It has to be done for you and in alignment with your healing. If you rush the process, it may backfire. 

It’s important to remember when dealing with heartbreak, the pain is something serious. Be kind and patient with yourself.

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