Sex & Life
Sex & Life September 13, 2017
And how you can, too.
I have been battling an anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember.
For some, anxiety has to do with childhood traumas or difficult experiences that inflict mental pain and completely change the way we look at ourselves. Unfortunately, I only realized that I have anxiety a few years ago. I did not know what to do about it then, but luckily now I found the answer through sessions with my psychologist.
And by “notice everything,” I don’t mean what people are saying about you or anything negative like that. For people who have anxiety disorder, it’s commonplace to think negatively and turn every situation into an ordeal.
Now you have to notice how you act when you are feeling anxious and what happens to your body and mind when you’re having a panic attack.
Like for instance, for me, I scratch my hands, fingers and the inner tips of the fingers when I am anxious. I am also out of breath. I have a short attention span and I speak loudly. Maybe you also pick at your skin or maybe you are doing something completely different.
So why is it important to notice these things? When my psychologist asked me to notice the things that I do and told me to try to stop them, I simply couldn’t. This is where your affirmations will work.
Whenever I have panic attacks and I can’t breathe, I put my hand on my heart and say, “I am feeling absolutely well and the pure oxygen is reaching in my veins.” I know it sounds stupid, it did to me as well when I first started saying affirmations. But I still kept saying them, and in less than a month, I could see the changes in me.
I am now more confident because I am not out of breath. I now communicate well with people and explain myself better.
Think how you feel about yourself as a person. For me, it is my body, face and almost everything I don’t like — yes, almost everything. But obviously, it is not true for everyone. We all have uniqueness and our past experiences have a lot to do with what we feel about ourselves.
But that is past, so it is our responsibility to leave our past behind. I understand that this is easier said than done, so you will have to write down affirmations.
If you feel you are not confident, write down “I am a confident person.” If you feel you are not pretty, write down “I am beautiful, and I radiate like the sun.” I have written down things like:
So think of the things you want to change about yourself, such as where your self esteem tumbles down. The affirmations that you give yourself, in turn, make you confident.
The best place to say these affirmations is in the bathroom, where you have privacy. People who have depression and anxiety, rarely feel like making it a habit to say these affirmations, so it’s great to keep them in the bathroom because you visit it frequently, and so you will seem them often.
For me, it is when I take a bath, so that it is easy for me and I don’t have to go in there especially to say my affirmations.
I did not have the courage to look in the mirror at first. So you can look at the door when you say these affirmations if you need to. Gradually, turn to the mirror and start saying your affirmations. It will be damn hard to look at yourself, so start with looking at something else in the mirror and not your face, and soon you will look into your eyes.
You might feel hesitant, embarrassed and utterly stupid, but it doesn’t matter, because it is a long journey, but still you have to keep trying. I am not used to praising myself, so it is difficult for my mind to process such positive things, especially coming from my own mouth.
It may take you several months, and in some cases years, to profusely feel your affirmations. But it doesn’t matter, because the affirmations still work. Your mind itself will start creating new space for good things once you start saying them. Just don’t stop trying.
Writing your affirmations can be a tricky and difficult job. You want to pick phrases your mind can get used to and that will be easy for your mind to take in.
For example, saying, “I do not feel anxious” won’t work at all, because the mind will only catch the word “anxious,” bringing on your panic attack. Same thing happens if you say, “I am not having panic attacks and I am not out of breath.”Your mind will only hear words like “panic attacks” and “out of breath,” so saying these won’t help at all.
Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to what you write and what you say. This is why you want to exclude negative words completely. Instead, say the total opposite of what you think about yourself and how you feel during your attacks.
If you still think you are having difficulty preparing your affirmations, you can say something like, “I appreciate your efforts (anxiety’s) in making me realise the situation, but now I am feeling fine.” In this way, you are not letting anxiety take over you.
You can visit Louise Hay’s site for some affirmation ideas. It is also helpful to discuss your particular symptoms and negative thoughts with a therapist.
Say your affirmations at least two times each day. Say them when you are having panic attacks and feeling anxious. Say them when you are having negative and fearful thoughts. In fact, if possible, chant them throughout the day or in your mind.
One other way my therapist told me to say these is when you meditate. If you think you are not the kind of person who can meditate, just sit down, clasp your hands together or put one hand on your heart, and say these affirmations.
Think of the other hand as your childhood self’s hand, and assure her that everything is going to be okay, and she doesn’t have to be scared anymore. Thank her for staying strong, and tell her you are going to take care of her.
This way, you are saying affirmations and also removing your past self but at the same time making her comfortable.
Hopefully, my personal tale of anxiety and positive affirmations can be useful to you, and you can make some positive changes in your life.
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