Sex & Life
Sex & Life September 18, 2016
With online dating becoming the new norm, it’s easier to meet a wide variety of people within only a few miles. And with all the fish in the sea, it can be hard to pick the right fish out of your net. What’s worse is, the process can even become stressful. What if the fish you pick doesn’t end up being the gentleman you can take home to mom and dad?
Online dating is useful, but it can also be a big waste of time if you don’t know how to find the right catch. So, here are a few questions to ask yourself to see if your Mr. Right really is right for you.
Do you catch him constantly checking out his reflection in every window he passes? Does he look more at the mirror behind the bar than at you? This is a telltale sign of a potentially bad dude. If he spends most of his time in self-absorption, he may not be able to give you the attention you want and deserve.
As professional psychologist Michelle Roya Rad writes on Huffington Post, self-centered people are often “unable to have long lasting relationships. For them, people are either very good or very bad, depending on who admires them and who does not.” Be careful because these people “can be your lover one minute and a hater the next,” says Rad.
Any man that you have never met in person should not be asking for intimate photos. Asking for these types of images is a huge red flag. It means that he has no interest in you beyond your body. He may as well be asking you to have sex with him then and there. Giving in to this could be detrimental for your potential relationship.
Author and speaker Matthew Bogs says in “Cracking The Man Code” (via Livestrong), men need time to fall in love with you. They need to get to know you.
So, charging for a nude pic is not exactly a sign of respect, and this is not how you should be treated. If a guy you barely know asks for these types of photos, don’t waste your time on him.
Have you noticed that all of his exes are “crazy”? If he has had multiple “crazy” significant others in his past, it’s highly unlikely that they are all as insane as he makes them out to be.
Be aware of how he talks about the other people in his life as well. Dustin Wood, assistant professor of psychology at Wake Forest shares, “Your perception of others reveal so much about your own personality … A huge suite of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively.” Not only that, but Wood’s study reveals that constantly seeing others in a negative light is linked to higher levels of narcissism. (And what did we say about that? It’s a no!)
So, if you notice him making sexist, inappropriate or degrading comments about anyone, then that’s a major warning sign.
When a guy only makes comments about your body type or your face, it could be a sign of deeper issues. When a man only talks about your outside appearance, that means he is paying more attention to your body than your thoughts and ideas. He isn’t getting to know the person that you are.
Allwomenstalk suggests looking for someone who doesn’t pressure you and thinks you’re beautiful when you’re “all bundled up.” When he isn’t distracted by your physical features, this gives him the chance to really get to know you.
When you go out together, are you going on nice dates? Does he spend not only money but effort on your time together? A man that does these things wants to make sure you are happy. He is one of the good ones.
A guy who always wants to meet up at cheap bars, Taco Bell or worse, his house, just wants one thing. You deserve better than being treated like a cheap night.
Overall, it’s important to look for any warning signs while you’re spending some time in the dating pool. If you notice that your date is throwing up red flags left and right, then you know it’s time to get out of the situation. You neither have to nor deserve to put up with bad guys.
Do as Beyoncé does and tell him, “Boy, bye!”
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