Sex & Life
Sex & Life August 3, 2017
It's a very hard process, but sometimes it's also very necessary.
The poet Herman Hesse once said, “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do, at least in my opinion.
It requires a lot of strength and resilience to let go of someone you have become so used to being around. So for those of you who have someone in your life that you need to let go of, check out these tips from reddit to help you get through this tough time.
“True love is putting the needs of someone else above your own. If you really love someone, then you’ll make the decision that is best for them, even if it makes things hard for you.”
As cliche as it sounds, this sentiment is true. Eventually you will realize that you aren’t giving the person what they need from the relationship, no matter how hard you try. The facts of life are that not everything is going to work out.
Eventually you will accept that it is time to move on from the relationship. You will want them to be happy above your own happiness, and this will be when you realize it is time to move on.
“It took me a long, long time, but more than anything [else that has helped], distance. Not seeing, hearing from, talking to, contacting, anything like that with the person. Complete isolation from him/her until you can get yourself back on your feet on your own [is key].”
From personal experience, I can attest that distance can do wonders. Seeing the person you are leaving only allows the memories to stay in your mind, which is the last thing you need.
Even though it can be really tough, create that boundary between you and the person you are leaving. Although you don’t want to kill your social life, if you can try to avoid places they will be/ people they hang out with, you will be better off. Being around them and seeing them will not help you move on.
“This is all cliche as hell and far easier said than done, but here it goes: remember not to look back at your relationship with rose-colored glasses… your relationship had problems. Remember them.”
It’s really easy to look back upon a relationship and think about all the wonderful times you shared with that person – vacations, dates, the first time you said “I love you,” etc. However, this isn’t helping you get over that person and move on. It’s only making you feel those lovey-dovey feelings, which is the last thing you need.
With any relationship there are hard times. Try to remember these, and remember that not every single moment was the honeymoon phase of the relationship. It will make moving on a little easier when you recall that not every moment was great, and things were hard sometimes.
“Get all of it off your chest before you walk. Nothing worse than leaving loose ends on something like that. I’ve been there and it’s brutally hard, but sometimes you just gotta do it.”
This is one of the most important things to do before leaving a relationship, trust me. If you don’t do this, you will keep going back to the person with things you need to get off of your chest, and you will never be rid of them. They will still be causing trouble and pain for you, even though you’ve done the hard part of telling them that you’re leaving.
Before you have that last conversation with your partner, take some time to gather up what you want to say. Write it down, make a note on your phone, whatever you have to do to remember the points you want to make.
One of the worst things can be going into a tough conversation and forgetting everything you wanted to say. And once you’ve said what you need to say, and let the other person speak of course, leave. It’s over and time to GTFO.
“Time is the best way to overcome those feelings in most cases. You can occupy yourself with other activities to stave off the feelings or mask them, but time is the only definite solution I’ve seen.”
This one goes along with “do you,” but ultimately everything takes time. Giving yourself time to feel your emotions, accept the fact that your relationship is over and move on is needed. You should also not try to prematurely get back into a routine.
Don’t go out when all you want to do is sit at home with ice cream and a fuzzy blanket. Give yourself the time you need, but remember that life is out there just waiting for you. And you could meet the love of your life once you get back out there.
Ultimately, everyone lets go in their own way. You need to do what’s best for you. But remember, that if you think it’s time to let go, it probably is. Trust your gut, and do what’s best for you- not anybody else.
And if you’re considering trying to stay friends with your ex after you’ve moved on, then read this article on why you should NOT do that.
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