Mothering – it’s a full time job no matter what culture you come from.
I’m sure even Queen Bey has days when raising little Blue feels like a bigger task than pulling off the Formation Tour. However, there are some fascinatingly different ways across cultures that moms choose to raise their babies, all of which can give a little insight into how we view our own personal mother/child relationships.
Here is a list of five countries that have their own unique style of motherhood.
American mothers tend to think of their children as growing individuals, not smaller extensions of themselves. For example, American moms typically respond reactively to their young children, asking them what they want or giving other types of attention when they cry out.
The overarching goal is to help children become successful, independent adults that can leave the nest and explore the world. Commonplace is the habit of giving frequent praise to children in order to boost self-confidence. It seems that as adults, American children are considered friends and equals to their parents, though they still are expected to respect their mothers.
In contrast, Japanese mothers accept and give their children the freedom to be as dependent as they want. Typically, mothers respond preemptively to their children’s needs; they feed them at demand or intuitively give the child what they want before they begin to cry. According to Virtuous Woman Exposed, young children below the age of six are culturally considered “close to the gods,” and are therefore treated in the sense that they are still transitioning from the metaphysical to the human.
This means many Japanese mothers allow their children to be as rambunctious, silly and noisy as they want without consequences. Women are also known to sleep in the bed as their babies and young children, sometimes even having the husband sleep in a different room in order to give them space to bond. In Japan, it is understood that this close bonds cultivates the earlier appearance of emotional intelligence and maturity in adolescence.
For the Dutch, making time for work and family life is key. As A Cup of Jo writes, women from the Netherlands typically treat pregnancy and birth as a routine matter. They don’t think it’s necessary to pick up five books from the how-to section in order to properly deliver and raise their babies. Compared to most other Western countries, where only 2 percent of homebirths occur, the Netherlands rank at 20 percent.
A midwife usually comes to the home when the labor process begins, and the delivery occurs without any type of epidural or intervention unless the mother is seriously at risk. Once babies are born, it is typical for mother to put their infants to bed early in the evening and generally promote rest for younger children. Unlike America, there is not as a great an emphasis for Dutch children to become the best of the best among their peers. A popular saying often heard is, “Doe maar gewoon, dan doe je al gek genoeg,” which essentially translates to: “Just be normal, that’s already crazy enough.”
According to Buzz Kenya, mothers in some parts of Kenya are seen carrying their babies with them the entirety of the day, whether the infants are asleep or awake. Like the Japanese, Kenyan mothers understand the value of a close physical bond between mother and children when they are young. However, unlike the Japanese, Kenyan children are not indulged in the same way. Instead, they are taught from a small age to know that the mother is the one in charge. This explains why Kenyan mothers often avert their eyes when their babies start to babble; eye contact gives power.
Though it may seem rather callous to the mind of a Westerner, the goal is to raise children who are humble and not overly attention-seeking. As they grow older, mothers allow children to freely roam with each other during playtime, and thus become highly self-sufficient from a young age.
French mothers are known for their elegance and sophistication, and also the way in which they seek balance in all aspects of their lives. This extends to child rearing, and it is often seen that French children are content to accompany their mothers without complaint to various daily activities.
At mealtime, the mentality is that children from a young age should be eating the same foods as their parents. The phrase frequently quipped by French mothers goes something like: “You don’t have to eat it all, but you have to taste everything.” In terms of schooling, preschoolers are not pushed academically in terms of being pressured to read, like they are in some other cultures . Instead, the emphasis is put on having them develop social skills and manners, and they are allowed to learn to read when they are ready, usually around four years old or seven.
