Relationships September 13, 2016
Although you know how to provide comfort to someone who is sick with the flu or how to help a friend with a broken leg, we never quite know what to do when someone close to us is mentally ill. How do we help? How do we show that we care?
Despite the attached stigma associated with mental health and illnesses in today’s society, you can still learn to be the supportive woman your friend or family member needs.
Here are three ways you can help.
Just because you may not understand what they are going through doesn’t mean you should belittle their emotions. Their sickness may not show outwardly, but chances are you have no idea what’s going on in their mind. Even if you may be a little frustrated with your loved ones at times, avoid dismissing their feelings as irrational or “crazy.” Don’t tell a man or woman struggling with depression to just go and get some “fresh air” or to stop “wallowing in pity.”
If that person had any control of the condition, they would have done something about it a long time ago.
The Mental Health website suggests simply talking to them. You can say phrases like:
Also, the Mental Health website suggests learning how to communicate in a straightforward manner. Don’t be vague or insincere. As you speak to them, make sure to speak at a “level appropriate to a person’s age and development level (preschool children need fewer details as compared to teenagers).” Additionally, it is important to talk to them in a place where they are safe and comfortable.
Overall, you just want to show that you support them and that you are there for whatever they need.
Although you should always tread lightly with a mentally ill friend or family member, don’t make them feel like a charity case. Don’t treat them like a problem to be solved or like a burden.
As the American Psychological Association (APA) writes, “Individuals with mental illnesses still have an identity, and they still have a voice.” Instead of treating them like a burden, “engage in open and honest conversations.” Ask about how they feel, what they are struggling with and what they need from you.
Mentally ill individuals just want to be treated like people, so don’t patronize them. Instead, the APA suggests working together to set realistic expectations for your relationship and praise their progress.
Since medications have improved and “new evidence-based psychotherapeutic interventions can have powerful and positive effects,” the APA says that the most important thing you can do to support a loved one is to simply have hope.
Psych Central says, “Educating yourself about your loved one’s illness is really the foundation of support. Research has shown that education works.” Harriet Lefley, Ph.D., professor at the Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, tells Psych Central that educating loved ones about the treatment processes has been proved to reduce symptoms, hospitalization days and the probability of relapse.
This is because educating yourself can prevent you from forming misconceptions about the illness. If you are knowledgable about what your mentally ill loved one is experiencing, you will be more effective in the way you speak to them, treat them and care for them.
Lefley says, “Without education, it’s hard for people to grasp and appreciate the severity of the symptoms, such as the terrifying thoughts associated with schizophrenia or the suicidal ideation associated with a deep depression.” This can lead to you making snap judgments about how the mental illness isn’t “that big of a deal” or why your loved one can’t simply “snap out of it.”
A helpful way to educate yourself is by reading reputable publications. Psych Central suggests books such as:
You can even start your research by reading Psych Central’s explanations of various mental disorders, their symptoms and their treatments.
Overall, conquering a mental illness for good is never easy, no matter your level of involvement. The best thing you can do for a struggling loved one is to offer your unfaltering support.
As Oryx Cohen, a bipolar disorder patient, tells the Mind Freedom website, “I just hope that eventually the general public will hear our stories and take them as their own.”
