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ENTITY the one that got away

Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve. Ever thought about what you wish you could say to the one that got away?

You know, the person you thought you would end up with, but didn’t because of the forces of the universe? Bad timing, distance or a series of poor choices on your end are definitely to blame (only you though, honey).

You pine over them, wondering what could’ve been, all the while stalking them on all forms of social media, including LinkedIn. Don’t mock it until you try it — I’ve found out some crazy shit from that site.

The one that got away is typically someone that you will forever regret not expressing your feelings to. However, the women of reddit have some hilarious ideas about what they’d like to say to “The One That Got Away” if given the chance.

We rounded up seven of their most hilarious responses:

1 Get Rid of your beard.

“It seems to me now that you will always have terrible taste in styling your head and facial hair, but I’m glad I got to observe you in person for the brief blip when you really had it together before you grew that weird large beard. You were super hot for those six months and I’ll never forget it.”

2 Bye.

“I’m really glad you got away.” “Get away further!”

Keep going!” “I can still kind of see you on the horizon. Pick up the pace a little!”

3 Sorry I creeped you out.

“I’m sorry I kept trying to get you to like me. I was confused, dumb and creepy and should have, like, just gotten the hint and stopped talking to you. Hope you’re doing okay.”

4 Say “Hi” to your bride.

“Your wife seems lovely.”

5 Thanks for blocking me.

“I’m glad it didn’t work out between us, because I wouldn’t be pursuing my passion for music now. Also, I just wish we could have at least been friends instead of you blocking me off everything without a word. That was kind of a douche move.

6 Good Luck with that.

You were too old and too complicated for me anyway. I sincerely hope you and one of your three ex wives work it out, because I know that’s what you really want.”

7 I’d Mess with Texas.

“I’d just show him clips of Patrick and SpongeBob making fun of Texas.”

Okay, so for the most part it seems like the women of Reddit’s responses could be pretty well summed up with, “Boy, bye.” So maybe it wasn’t so bad that they got away, after all?

Edited by Kayla Caldwell
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