Relationships June 18, 2018
"That's still a thing?"
I don’t know who the PR person is for waiting ’till marriage, but they need to work on their branding. The phrase itself just sounds boring. “Waiting ‘Til Marriage.” Really, waiting?? That’s like the most passive term you could use! If I didn’t know it had anything to do with sex, I wouldn’t be interested. I can barely wait for my bread to pop out of the toaster. How could anyone wait for anything that long?
However boring the term may seem, the reactions you get from your virginity proclamation can be pretty hilarious. These are the five most common responses I’ve gotten after saying “I’m waiting ’till marriage.”
This reaction typically involves air quotes, leaning forward, and a code being established that you most definitely are not aware of. This person may assume that you can’t tell the “real” truth because you don’t want the people around you to hear. It’s even more entertaining if you just go with it and pretend you and this inquisitive person have a special bond forged by secrets.
This reaction usually involves a couple clarifications, followed by a total lack of clarity. However, there’s nothing wrong with this reaction. The percentage of women and men who are waiting ’till marriage vary depending on where you live. You might have lived somewhere where it was common, then moved somewhere where it’s extremely rare.
Although this reaction can get annoying after a while, friends who try to change your mind are not usually doing it out of malice. If they are good friends, they want the best for you. They want you to experience all the joys and pleasures that life has to offer. However, if you find you have a particularly insistent friend, you can gently remind her of your decision. If you don’t try to make your friends wait ’till marriage to have sex, your friends should respect the decision you have made with your sexuality as well.
These reactions come from the school of thought that sexual intimacy must be confirmed before two people are married. In one way, I agree; if two people aren’t attracted to each other before marriage, I honestly don’t think they should be getting married at all. Again, the people who react this way are usually coming from a good place. They want your future marriage to flourish without any pre-existing road blacks to deal with. However, gently reminding them that it’s a personal decision of yours might change the subject.
This is the standard reaction, and it’s a pretty refreshing one. It can be easy to feel weird or alone in your decision, especially if you don’t have many friends who have made the same choice. When someone reacts like it’s not a big deal, it’s amazing.
‘Cause at the end of the day, what you do with your body is your choice. And when people respect your decision, and you respect theirs, you can have some really fascinating conversations about sexuality, the meaning of sex, and the meaning of marriage. So go converse with people who have different choices and backgrounds than you — you never know what you can learn from their perspective.
