It’s not you, it’s him. Trust me.
I, like many other women out there, have unknowingly dated some pretty shady men throughout the years. Little did I know, these experiences would come in handy one day.
So, to all the boss ladies sick of wasting their time, here are three signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
This is the kind of guy who will text you a couple of times throughout the week, but the conversations don’t really go anywhere until he actually wants to meet up with you.
Well, guess what that means? You’re not a priority.
People prioritize other people they want to keep around. It’s that simple. If your current crush doesn’t communicate with you very much or is regularly inconsistent, it’s a good indication they’re not interested in a long-term relationship with you, explains licensed clinical social worker Dr. Danielle Forshee to Elite Daily.
We’re not saying he sucks if he can’t afford to take you out on fancy dates. But as Hannah Orenstein writes on Seventeen, if your man doesn’t take you out on dates in general, he’s either “more interested in hooking up than having a real relationship, [he’s] sketchily trying to hide you or [he’s] just lazy and not putting any effort into the relationship.”
Hello? Red flag.
A similar situation happened to me back in the day, actually. I was working at my college library, and this guy I liked finally asked me out. For our first date, we went to a Silversun Pickups concert on Jimmy Kimmel. At the time, this was my ultimate dream date. It went well, but it the high from it ended really quickly.
For the rest of our dates, he would just pick me up, drive to a random dark street and then we would just sit there every… single… time.
The first time this happened I asked him where we were going and he responded with, “I’m in the process of looking for a job so I don’t really have any money to take you out.” Then he rolled the windows down, turned off the car, pulled out his phone and scrolled through his Instagram feed. We watched Simpsons clips all night.
Now, I’m not saying money matters, or that the Simpsons aren’t great, but it’s probably a good idea to NOT sit in a shady street with a guy you only went on one dream date with.
Boy, bye!
It’s not good news when your pillow talk never gets very deep.
It’s fine to be reserved, but even reserved men will open up to someone they see a future with. “Someone who is serious about you will let you know about their life and about some of their experiences,” couples therapist Alesha Powell, Ph.D. explains to Bustle. “They’ll be willing to talk about their childhood and goals for the future.” These kinds of conversations are signs they’re comfortable and looking to create genuine bonds.
So if he bolts whenever you ask about his family, his past or anything about him at all, you probably should too.
Moral of the story, ladies, is that sometimes it’s pretty easy to tell he doesn’t care about the relationship. Just open your eyes to see that these men don’t deserve us. We are queens and deserve to be treated as such!
Thank you, next.
