Relationships July 29, 2019
Is it fate, or a reward from the universe aiming to teach you something?
In Eastern philosophy, specifically Hinduism and Buddhism, karma is a cosmic result of someone’s actions in this life… or even their existence in another. In other words, someone comes into your life as a negative or positive result of the deeds you’ve done. This is known as a karmic connection.
When an individual comes across a karmic connection in their life, the universe is sending that person a life lesson. The relationship that you form isn’t meant to last, but the lucky new person in your life is a vehicle for your own personal growth and development. It’s like fate but you’re just paying rent instead of buying the whole house.
A karmic connection can range from romantic relationships to friendships to familial bonds. If you’re unsure if a relationship is meant to be, here are 3 ways to differentiate between a cosmic and soulmate connection.
The truth is, humans are in need of connection. Data suggests that all mammals suffer when social ties are cut or weak. But, some bonds are more necessary than others. When we do “click” with another person, sometimes on an unexplainably uncanny level, it’s almost like the stars have aligned.
In an interview with the Scientific American, professor and neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman speculates on the importance of social connection: “In the West, we like to think of ourselves as relatively immune to sway of those around us while we each pursue our personal destiny. But I think this is a story we like to tell ourselves rather than what really happens.”
So why are you in this relationship in the first place? You two clearly have a connection and have a decent amount in common—at least enough for you to get along. Maybe when you first met, your gut told you that you needed this person in your life. Or, possibly they make you laugh until your stomach hurts. Or even, the passion and intimacy you share is unmatched. These are all signs of a bond that was meant to happen. It’s what happens later that makes you able to determine whether you should stay, or go.
Let’s be honest: no one likes arguing. But when love, blood, and/or history is involved, sometimes we put up with it. When we deeply care about a person, a “shade” develops over our perception of reality. Sometimes we can’t recognize when manipulation, selfishness, or controlling behaviors begin to seep into the actions of our partners, or even ourselves.
But, when a relationship is based on mutual respect for another’s physical and mental space, you are more likely to see success. In an article written in Psychology Today, Dr. Peter Gray explains, “Love without respect is dangerous… To respect is to understand that the other person is not you, not an extension of you, not a reflection of you, not your toy, not your pet, not your product. In a relationship of respect, your task is to understand the other person as a unique individual and learn how to mesh your needs with his or hers and help that person achieve what he or she wants to achieve. ”
A relationship where communication flows freely and individuality thrives is healthy. These are the types of relationships that are most likely to last. They still may teach us things along the way, but the connection is meant to exist as an ever present partnership, rather than the blip of a karmic connection.
Perhaps this relationship resembles more of an addiction than a partnership. If you find that it keeps failing despite several efforts to revive what you once had, it’s mostly likely that the relationship is meant to end. Think about it as the universe’s way of telling you, “You’re done. You’ve learned your lesson, and now it’s time to move on.” Every human bond will have its ups and downs. Just because you argue with a soulmate or best friend, doesn’t make it not worth your time and effort. Having disputes is normal and human. But on the other hand, when you begin to be dependent on a person, or certain defining issues persist, it’s getting unhealthy. And no one deserves that!
“The things that cause us to feel pain are things that are evolutionary recognized as threats to our survival,” Lieberman says. “The existence of social pain is a sign that evolution has treated social connection like a necessity, not a luxury.”
This means that social pain is good; it confirms our humanity. If we emphasize self-love and self-care through every heartbreak, it’s almost undeniable that we will grow from it. So if someone has recently left your life, or is bringing out unhealthy habits, consider the fact that despite the heartache, that karmic connection probably taught you a valuable life lesson.
