Relationships July 15, 2019
Steps to make sure you take your break right.
Everyone has their reasons for taking a break in a relationship. However, many people may not know the type of break they want to take, the reasoning for the break, and what rules to abide by.
This 5-step checklist will walk you through how to take a break in your relationship in a successful and healthy way.
Heat of the moment: Have you been arguing all day and you eventually get fed up and say, “You know what?! Maybe we need to take a break!” In this case, the break is likely out of frustration, and you may need a day or two to cool off.
Testing the waters: “You don’t really know what you have until it’s gone”? For some people, in order for them to know if their partner is the one, they need to weed out all the individuals they thought would have been a good fit for them.
Just need some space/me-time: Spending too much time with your significant other can become overwhelming, especially once you notice that you’re picking your S.O. over spending time with your friends or family. Or maybe, you don’t know what to do when you’re not around your S.O. Often times, in the beginning of a relationship, people get so wrapped up in their S.O. that they neglect to maintain their individuality. This is often what necessitates these types of breaks.
Leading up to the real thing: This one is really simple: you are using “taking a break” as a stepping stone to actually breaking up. Rather than doing what needs to be done, you begin to distance yourself under the guise of “taking a break”.
After identifying what kind of break you and your partner may need to take, you then need to understand the reasoning behind your break. If these reasons sound familiar then it may be time to take some space from your partner.
If you are talking, apologizing and throwing sweet terms of endearment around and it’s not fixing anything, then you may need some space.
As said before, sometimes you lose yourself in your S.O. If you feel like you can’t separate yourself from them, then it may be time for a break.
If all you do is argue, yell over each other, and consistently repeat yourself to your S.O, then it sounds like you may need to take some time apart. Nothing is more irritating than not being heard.
It’s no secret that relationships require time. Relationships can even be like a second job in terms of time and commitment. If you don’t want to completely break it off but may need a little time to reprioritize and get organized, sometimes a break is just the thing you need.
Some couples need a little space in order to rekindle the fire between them. Sometime you need to miss them for more than a couple of hours to reignite the fire between the two of you.
You never want to start taking a break in a relationship without setting rules. Rules ensure that you and your partner are on the same page and that there are no surprises.
Never start a break and without setting up a time frame. If there is no time frame set, then you may as well just call the whole relationship quits. A time frame either ensures you two will come back together, or sets a date for you to prepare for “the talk”.
Make sure to decide if there will be communication limits. You don’t want to say that you are having a break, and then continue on as if everything is normal. For those that need space, make sure you are planning activities and putting restrictions on how much you see your S.O.—especially if you live together.
Be clear about exclusivity. One of the biggest things that often causes breaks to turn into breakups is not being clear about whether sex is on the table or not. Make sure to decide if you are remaining exclusive throughout the break.
If you know that you are not going to be able to forgive your significant other if they have sex with another person, make that clear to your partner. The purpose is to clearly identify the do’s and dont’s of this break and to set reasonable expectations.
Make sure you are clear on what is next with the relationship. This applies more so to after the break has ended and you are figuring out what to do going forward. You don’t want continue doing what you were doing before. Be sure to identify things you have learned during the break; maybe you realized that it’s better for you to be apart, slow it down, or maybe even speed it up.
If you are unable to identify what you need after the break, then the break didn’t accomplish what you needed it to.
After you have established the type of break up you’re having, the reasoning for you break, and what rules are, it is time to have a full conversation with your partner. This is to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page and there is no confusion.
Now it is time to put all of these steps into action and actually take the break from your relationship. If you are feeling sad afterwards, that is normal, but don’t let it deter you from doing what needs to be done. Make sure to keep your head held high. Here is list of songs to boost your spirits when you are taking a break in a relationship.
Just know that this is for the betterment of yourself and your significant other. You can’t be good to each other without first taking care of yourself.
