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What does demisexual mean? A couple holds hands while riding bikes.

What does “demisexual” mean exactly? Let’s start by explaining that sexuality is on a wide spectrum so trying to understand all the different types of sexualities can be difficult. And maybe it can feel like there are a lot of terms to keep track of – we get it.

But it’s really not that complicated. A term most people seem to have trouble grasping is demisexual. So, we’re here to break down what demisexual means and what it doesn’t mean.

ENTITY provides information about what does demisexuality mean

First off, what does demisexual mean?

“Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond,” explains the Demisexuality Resource Center.

“Most demisexuals feel sexual attraction rarely compared to the general population, and some have little to no interest in sexual activity.”

So what does this mean exactly?

ENTITY reports on what does demisexual mean

Since demisexuality is on the asexual spectrum, people who are demisexual don’t have the same sexual feelings as people who are non-asexual. While people who are non-asexual can feel sexual attraction for random people on the street they find attractive, people who are demisexual may never have these feelings .

People who are demisexual only find that sexual attraction once they’ve had some sort of emotional connection with someone.

Am I demisexual if I choose to not have sex with someone I’m attracted to?

It’s not necessarily that simple. You could choose to not have sex for multiple reasons. Your reasons could be anywhere from religious beliefs to your own personal feelings about that person. Sexual attraction is uncontrollable but sexual behavior is.

Your choice to not have sex with someone you’re sexually attracted to doesn’t necessarily make you demisexual. Demisexuality is defined by only feeling sexual attraction after forming a deep emotional bond.

So now that we’ve covered what demisexuality means, let’s cover what demisexuality is not.

Demisexuality doesn’t automatically put someone under the LGBT identity.

While demisexuals can also be queer, demisexuality doesn’t necessarily fall under the LGBT umbrella. Straight people can also be demisexual. Demisexuality is characterized by overall sexual attraction to people despite gender.

Demisexuality is not only having sex with people you have an emotional connection with.

Sexual attraction is not a choice, but choosing to have sex is. Demisexuals can choose to have sex for a variety of reasons from wanting to get pregnant or just wanting to experience it. This doesn’t diminish their identity as demisexual.

A 2014 AVEN Census showed that two-thirds of demisexuals are uninterested in and/or repulsed by sex, according to the Demisexuality Resource Center,. At the same time, there are plenty of demisexuals who do enjoy it. It all depends on each individual.

Demisexuality is not being “prude.”

ENTITY reports on what does demisexuality mean

Your sexual attraction is not a choice. Say it with me, “Your sexual attraction is not a choice.” People can’t control their sexual attraction, but they can control their decision to have sex. If a demisexual doesn’t find themselves sexually attractive to anyone, it’s part of their identity, and not a choice.

Although it’s difficult to fully understand what different sexualities and identities mean, it’s also an integral part of a progressive society to try to learn as much as you can. This way we can treat other people with the respect and understanding they deserve.

And if you are demisexual, then wave your demisexual flag high and with pride.

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