To the Girl Who Had Her Heart Broken by an Almost Relationship

An almost relationship is like a real relationship but it’s never actually defined as such. You have the same experiences, feelings and moments without the title. So, why is it so hard to move on when it’s over?

It wasn’t a real relationship, so it should be easier to walk away, right?

But just because there wasn’t a title, it doesn’t mean any of the feelings weren’t real. It doesn’t diminish any of the experiences or intimate moments.

You can’t expect yourself to be able to let go so easily. The problem with leaving an almost relationship is feeling like you don’t have the right to mourn it. You’re left remembering all the “almost” moments. You were almost a couple. Almost in love. Almost real. So, you’re stuck regretting everything you wish you had done. You’re stuck dreaming of everything that could have been.

The worst part is knowing he or she doesn’t owe you an explanation. You can’t ask for closure. There might not even be a clear reason as to why the relationship ended. Maybe they found someone they wanted to commit to. Maybe the timing wasn’t right.

This, obviously, just makes it harder to move on. You start to assume you’re crazy and overreacting. Maybe you’re giving meaning to something that was never there. You think you’re just being overemotional.

But the times you told this person your deepest darkest secrets or your hopes and dreams were very much real.

You don’t need an official title to grow close to someone. The dates, talks and hookups were all very genuine. Overall, the feelings and emotions were real.

If someone can’t commit to you, then he or she never deserved you in the first place.

It’s not always about the length or title of the relationship. A relationship should be defined by its intensity. The emotions, the connection, the experiences, these are all things that matter most.

You need to let yourself heal the same way you would after a real relationship. You need to remember all the good times and bad times and let go of all the hate.

So allow yourself to move on from this the same way you would from an official relationship. Don’t text him or her and beg the person to come back. Don’t ask for a second chance. If they didn’t want to settle down with you, then you shouldn’t be giving them the time of day. You’re allowed to wallow in this sorrow. Remember the relationship for what it really was.

Most importantly, forgive this person. He or she couldn’t give you all of them, and that’s not your fault or theirs. Some things just don’t work out and that’s fine. You’re human, so, go ahead, and cry for this person. Cry for all the feelings you felt for him or her. But, eventually, you’re going to have to move on. Not all relationship will be like this one. Soon you will find someone who can give you the world and more. Be hopeful for what is to come and walk away from the past.

Remember, your experiences will make you stronger. Just give yourself the time to heal.