Relationships July 26, 2019
When is it the right time to tell them "boy BYE..."
ENTITY explains commitment issuesEver been with a guy and everything seems to be going right on track, then out of nowhere he just stops putting in an effort? All the time and energy spent together just dwindles out with the passing of the sentence, “I’m not looking for a relationship.” Or, “I like you, but I’m not ready to date right now.” Yet, their actions say otherwise. This back and forth and lack of commitment can drive anyone mad. It’s basically a Jedi mind trick.
So, what is it that makes a guy not want to fully commit? ENTITY dives right into some of the most common reasons he’s not ready to take it to next level.
Commitment issues can stem from intense feelings of vulnerability. If a guy is unsure of whether the relationship will last, how emotions will be handled and opening up in general, then he might be less likely to commit. However, being vulnerable is one of the best ways to maintain a healthy relationship.
Of course, there is a fear that opening up and being vulnerable will backfire later on, but without vulnerability, there is no way to have a full commitment to any relationship.
Being vulnerable can strengthen a relationship in many ways including increasing a sense of worthiness. Being vulnerable keeps us attached to our partner and builds trust. Breaking down the walls allows for the relationship to become fully intimate and allows for one to give and receive love completely.
Truth is, you’re never as trapped as you think you are. It’s important to set boundaries in a relationship and let your partner know the space you need. If a lack of commitment is occurring, it’s important to remind your significant other that a relationship isn’t a “trap.” If it is, it’s toxic, but that’s another discussion.
Relationships are all about shared communication and being able to spend time together AND time apart. It’s important to go into a relationship with an open mind and not just assuming that you’ll feel constricted.
The past is never a good judgment on where a future relationship will go. Different people, different story. A guy’s unwillingness to go on full-on commitment mode might stem from his past relationships. Feelings were hurt and now false expectations have been set. Getting hurt enough times by similar circumstances or people doesn’t mean that it’s bound to happen again. Just because you got dumped by a brunette doesn’t mean the next brunette is going to come and ruin your life forever.
Men with commitment phobia that stems from previously failed relationships will have a harder time letting go. Sometimes, it’s best to give them time to heal and reassure them that they have your full trust.
If his fear of commitment comes from him wanting to explore other options, then tell him “boy BYE!” Any guy who is afraid of commitment because he’s constantly thinking of “what if” scenarios with other women, is not worth the time. Their indecisiveness could come from their own insecurities and it’s just downright rude.
Not fully convinced you want to be with someone? Leave them alone. Don’t continue to lead them on with inconspicuous Snapchats and flirty text messages. Not only are guys in this situation probably more confused than you, they also definitely need time to figure their life out alone.
If a guy is halfway in, but halfway out, then it’s a definite sign he has some commitment issues. Truth is, if a guy is only halfway in, he has setbacks on where the relationship could go. It always starts out the same way, “maybe he’s busy.” “I won’t message him, I don’t want to come off too strong.” “Why does he only talk to me when it’s convenient for him?”
Guys who play with emotions and go back and forth are completely unsure about what they’re doing. They might think you’re great company, but nothing more. Or, they might actually see a potential future with you, but for now, they’re just testing the waters. Chances are these guys just like the attention they know you’ll give them.
Regardless of the signals he’s sending, always remember how much time and effort you’re both putting in. Never take in less than you deserve.
