Relationships May 5, 2017
When people first start dating, they’re typically inseparable. And then the honeymoon phase subsides and some people are left wondering if they’re dating a cheater.
Some people may even spend hours taking quizzes to determine if their husband or wife is cheating on them. While others settle for just reading about the signs their partner is cheating.
Relationships are tough. That’s the understatement of the year. And when you’re in a long distance relationship, it gets even harder.
But how can you tell the difference between being paranoid and actually having a reason to worry? Truthfully, only you can really know if your relationship is off, but it doesn’t hurt to hear some personal experiences.
Here are 15 pieces of advice ENTITY’s compiled from Reddit from people who have been there.
“Projecting … I saw how upset even the slightest interaction with another girl made her, and I figured that just meant she was extra sensitive to the whole thing. Man was I wrong.”
“Thieves check their locks. Scammers check their bank accounts. Cheaters check their partners.
“People who do something wrong are always paranoid about the thing they do wrong happening to them.”
“People are usually creatures of habits. Two things when combined are usually telltale signs of cheating.
“First, a sudden change of habit. This can be all of a sudden going out to the bars more, coming home late all the time, a disinterest in what they usually love, etc. Second, sudden secrecy.”
“When she suddenly started playing ‘Words with Friends’ with a complete stranger (male) I never met. Changed all of her passwords. Hid her phone under her pillow while sleeping.”
“My experience was such that he didn’t start yelling at me or become abusive, but he disconnected from me. He would become annoyed easily by me, he didn’t seem happy to see me when he got home and he was much more quiet. He disengaged with me because he was more engaged with her.”
“We had spent the last six months of it being very passive with each other. We didn’t express emotion towards each other like we did, and she stopped doing the little things, so I stopped too. I saw the end coming, and I spent so much time dreading it.”
“They suddenly have lots more things to do in the evenings/weekends which means they can’t see you. They have more mood swings, so one moment super lovey with you, next day super grumpy at you.”
“Sometimes they’ll withdraw from you, no more sex, no more intimacy – either it’ll stop all together or it gets rare/done mechanically. They don’t want to ‘cheat’ on their new partner.”
“The desire to bring up his/her name. It’s like showing they try to prove their innocence by how unconcerned they are by that person. So they’ll generally start naming them more often. Same thing for specific nights out, locations, etc, but easiest to spot with names.”
“If you ask where they’ve been and they have an answer that’s just a little too detailed.”
“Often close friends of your partner will find out before you. And although they might not tell you what’s happening, their attitude towards you might suddenly become more awkward. They will be uncomfortable hang hanging out with you two together as it makes them part of the lie.
“Offended and hostile that you suspect it … If it’s untrue you just provide reassurance. Doesn’t always work but it’s what you should do in a healthy relationship. A little bit of jealousy is okay, constant accusations is a deal breaker.”
“When he was away on business he would ring me up at random times and I had to somehow prove to him that I wasn’t out drinking with my friends and hooking up with random guys. It was very strange because on top of that he knows I don’t drink nor do I like going out at night with friends like that. I’m very much a homebody.”
“A number of months before she left me for one of her other guys, she stopped wanting to take pictures of us together. This was in the days of film cameras and I didn’t pick up on this sudden change in behavior because I hate having my picture taken and thought she was finally respecting my opinion, as well as saving a lot of money.
“Despite that, I suggested we get a portrait done of us together, as I was planning on asking her to marry me, and thought it would be nice to have. I still clearly remember her telling me she thought it wasn’t a good idea, because ‘what if we ever split up?'”
“If someone is extremely possessive or keeps bringing up what would happen if their partner cheated or just seems overly bent out of shape about cheating. They’re probably a cheater … The guy would always say things like ‘If you cheated on me, it would destroy me.’ Harmless at first. But he said it weekly.”
