Relationships May 6, 2018
Give yourself a break.
Have you ever given yourself a compliment unprompted by another person? Have you done it out loud? How about with other women around?
If you haven’t, you’re not alone. Since society has equated complimenting one’s self with pride, we avoid it like the plague. Similarly, since society equates self-deprecation with true humility, we insult ourselves like there’s no tomorrow. It’s no surprise then that so many men and women are showing signs of low-esteem.
But would you fall into this category, or do you just need to stop being hard on yourself every now and then? We’ve compiled a short list of signs of low self-esteem, but the subject is an incredibly personal one and answers can vary based on context. But feel free to peruse these examples so you can determine the answer for yourself.
It is your own superpower. Whether it be about your clothes, your work ethic, your makeup or your name, you can deflect any nice comment that comes your way. If you commonly respond with answers like “oh my gosh, no, stop, you’re beautiful” or “but your hair is way better than mine,” you’re not allowing the compliment to sink in. Although this might just be the natural manifestation of you being flustered, make sure you actually believe they were giving you the compliment in earnest.
This is a tricky one, because the act of doing your hair and makeup does not prove any lack of esteem. The only thing it can prove is that you like doing your hair and makeup.
We are more specifically referring to the extreme sense of anxiety some people feel if they must leave their home without any primping. For example, if someone with low self-esteem accidentally sleeps in and is late for class, they may be an extra forty-five minutes late because they would never show their natural face and hair to the public.
They may also think that every person talking to them notices the lack of product on their face and treats them with disdain because of it.
Have you ever had a friend who is so strong-willed that they get irritated the moment you challenge them on something?Individuals who exhibit signs of low self-esteem have little chance of winning arguments with these people.
This is not because they are not smart or don’t have good points, but they back down quickly in order to “keep the peace.” This doesn’t mean that all pacifists have low self-esteem, because they work through disagreements in other ways besides “winning.” However, one of the main signs of low self-esteem is immediately surrendering because of the anxiety that comes with upsetting people.
This pertains to both constructive criticism and the unwarranted criticism you see in scathing Youtube comments. No one is immune to getting their feelings hurt unless they are a sociopath, so even people with a healthy amount of self-esteem can feel the pain of a nasty comment. However, people who show signs of low self-esteem can’t handle this type of feedback in a healthy way.
If they get a comment on the format of a presentation they give, they may assume that their instructor doesn’t like them as a person. If they get a ridiculously cruel comment on a picture they posted, they may believe it…no matter how illogical the comment is. Basically, it is extremely difficult for them to take things with a grain of salt.
For people who show signs of low self-esteem, this is incredibly common in dating situations. They may assume a date went horribly, even if their date’s comments were neutral or even positive. Phrases like “I ordered a poppyseed muffin and he laughed, he’s obviously judging me for that” or “he hasn’t texted me yet so I should just give up” aren’t uncommon for people with low self-esteem.
If you assume that people dislike you before you even walk up to them, this is one of the main signs of low self-esteem. According to clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone, this is very closely related to issues with negative thoughts and negative self-perception:
“People with a shaky self-esteem also struggle with self-critical, negative thoughts. These thoughts often criticize and hold them back from going after what they want in life.”
If you have an inner monologue that is constantly putting you down, it can be pretty hard to believe that people earnestly appreciate your company.
Entity believes that no man or woman should ever have to apologize for who they are. Apologies do have their place and they are necessary for healthy, selfless relationships. However, apologizing for your interests and passions, or apologizing for something you did not do wrong, is completely unnecessary.
“Apologies are important but should be reserved for the occasions when you make a mistake,” contends Robert Chen, author of “The Dreams to Reality Fieldbook” and founder of the self-promotion blog Embrace Possibility. “In all other cases, don’t apologize.”
We hope this clarified the difference between occasional self-deprecation and serious self-esteem issues. If you are someone you know is showing these signs of low self-esteem, go to www.healthyselfesteem.org for info on how to improve your sense of self-esteem. No matter who you are or where you come from, everyone deserves to live a self-esteemed life.
