What Are Boundaries and How Do I Set Them?

Knowing how to set boundaries will make you a kick-ass, super-woman in your daily life. Healthy boundaries will help you grow personally and within in your relationships. Let’s look deeper into the question; what are boundaries?

They apply to everything in your life.

According to Psych Central, boundaries apply in many different aspects of your life. They can be everything from material boundaries such as money, clothes or cars, to emotional boundaries to help you control and establish your feelings.

Healthy boundaries will help you gain fully control over all aspects of your life. Psych Central explains that anger is a way of realizing you could be lacking boundaries. A lack of boundaries can make you irritated towards your partner which creates an unhealthy cycle.

They are also important as they can allow you to have more control in pretty much all aspects of your life. However, as Psych Central also states, people can feel anxious and guilty about setting boundaries. There is not a solution for this, except to keep practicing setting them. At the end, by setting boundaries, you will gain more respect from people around you and your relationships will be healthier.

Boundaries Within

One of the most important types of boundaries are internal boundaries. Having healthy internal boundaries is a way to feel empowered and confident. You learn to consider yourself and your needs instead of putting others needs and problems before yours. Overall, internal boundaries are a way to become mindful.

Internal boundaries furthermore creates balance. Psych Central describes internal boundaries as “self-discipline and healthy management of time, thoughts, emotions, behavior and impulses.” By having control over your internal boundaries, it easier to create healthy boundaries within your externalrelationships.

So how do I effectively set them?

Clearly, boundaries are important to set. Nonetheless, it can be difficult to learn how to effectively set them. Everyone has a different background, and therefore different values to go off from. Some people grew up in homes where independence and respect for each other mattered a lot. These people may have an easier time setting boundaries, as they have learned to stand up for themselves their whole life. Other people might have been raised in homes that taught them that they had no rights, and therefore were not allowed to say no.

But guess what? You can say NO!

If you feel like you are not heard, feeling disrespected, or feel like your rights are being taken away from you, you are allowed to set boundaries! No matter what gender, color, religion, or cultural background you are coming from, you have the right to stand up for yourself.

Setting boundaries can be hard to do but it is very important. An article on Oprah’s website explains how you can learn three steps helping you to set boundaries.

Setting boundaries are more effective when you are calm, confident and respectful. Effective boundaries are not learned over night, but “take time, support, and relearning,” Psych Central further explains.

The most important thing to remember is: “Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s self-love – you say “yes” to yourself each time you say “no,”” as Darlene Lancer, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert on relationships and codependency, tells Psych Central.