Relationships August 10, 2017
If Daenerys did it, so can you.
So, you’ve escaped your first (and hopefully your last) controlling relationship.
Congratulations! You may feel equal parts happiness, crippling fear, hyperactivity, bouts of depression, blips of ecstasy and just a dollop of completely unpredictable mood swings. These are completely normal. But the good thing is, you’re free.
In honor of your courage, we’ve compiled some “Game of Thrones” gifs that may resonate with the recent escapee of a controlling relationship.
Brace yourselves… sass is coming.
The “hammer,” in this case, is the upper hand in the break-up negotiation. There’s nothing more freeing than taking control of a negotiation. A controlling partner does operate well with a strong woman, and he will realize this when he hears you set out the terms for your separation.
Even if your dumpee is not exactly compliant with your decision, you (as the strong woman) still have the upper hand in the situation. This may be the first time you have had full, complete choice within the context of your relationship for an incredibly long time.
No one, I repeat, no one has the right to hold hostage what is not rightfully theirs. Whether it be your German Shepherd Drogon, your cat Rhaegal or your favorite evening armor (otherwise known as a sweatshirt), he cannot legally withhold your possessions. You are free now, and your exit entitles you to your belongings.
Those kind of behavior patterns are no longer acceptable, nor are they ever. If you have had the unfortunate experience of being coerced into staying with fleeting gestures of commitment, you have every right to establish your preparedness for such an attempt. A strong woman will see this distraction tactic coming from a mile away.
If “but I opened the door once” comes up while he’s trying to prove his status as a gentleman, this Gif will probably resonate with you. If he struggles to remember the handful of times he was a half-decent partner, then your decision to leave is all the more justified.
This sentence, and others like it, are probably the most insecure words one person can utter to their ex-significant other. Unless, like an amicable separation, where both partners wish each other the best of luck in their future endeavors, the “no one will want you” trope is probably the most evident proof of immaturity in existence.
If you were truly the one being controlled in the relationship, his arguments will not have as much substance as yours. Therefore, providing counter arguments (or counter attacks, if you will) will be as easy as flipping your dagger in mid-skirmish.
Being controlled leaves you with much more points to discuss, so you may relish in your rightness. Listening to his point of view, and providing legitimate reasons for his wrongness, will be exponentially more satisfying than any thoughtless name-calling.
A gentleman will not spontaneously morph into a demon monster the second you decide to separate. It’s normal to be confused and angry, but not to the point where you start dishonoring the partner via megaphone to your entire circle of companions.
How does a strong woman end a bad relationship? She smothers any hope of return (with grace, of course).
If you’ve summoned up the courage to leave him, you’re probably not too hot about him at this point. Sometimes answers like “I mean, you’re okay…” don’t exactly get the point across. It’s never beneficial to be mean-spirited, but being blunt can save you a lot of time.
When you resolve to cut a negative influence out of your life, the lack of connection you feel to that person can be extremely liberating. So if your partner admits (or would like to admit) that he was just about to break up with you, relish in the utter lack of craps you give. In fact, the knowledge that he was about to end the relationship that caused you so much pain may bring you even more joy.
In fact, the knowledge that he was about to end the relationship that caused you so much pain may bring you even more joy. It’s a win-win for everyone!
As you make your final, glorious exit from the bounds of your controlling relationship, you might catch a forlorn glimpse in your ex-partner’s eye, one that says, in essence, “Well, crap.”
That look, dear friends, is the look of victory. That is the look of a job well done.
So these may not exactly be perfectly relevant to your situation, since everyone has a different experience when it comes to more controlling relationships. However, we can learn one thing from “Game of Thrones,” ladies… You, as a strong woman, have a right to a supportive relationship. For this reason, you also have every right to leave an unsupportive one.
