Sex & Life
Sex & Life August 23, 2017
Find your purr-fect match.
This one goes out to all the rare cat people out there.
Why do most people only like dogs? Why do people assume cat people are sad and lonely? The world may never know. We can only hope that one day this unfair discrimination against cat people will go away.
But for the extremely slim population of people who have always wondered what type of cat matches their horoscope sign, then this is for you.
You, my friend, are the house cat. You value your hygiene and would never dare to get your paws dirty by stepping outside onto the, gasp, street. You have a very particular sleep schedule, and if people try to wake you up they will pay the consequences.
If someone messes with you, then you mess with them. You’re a strong, independent cat who doesn’t need anyone or anything to please them. Except, of course, a nice windowsill in the speckled sunlight.
You’re a feral cat. Wild at heart, can’t be tamed. Nobody can hold you back from exploring and forging your own path in life. You’re not accountable to anyone or anything, and you don’t like commitment.
You’re independent and fearless. You were born a hunter and you know how to go out and get what you need, when you need it. You can fend for yourself, which is a skill that makes you stand out in a crowd.
We are sorry to inform you that you are a fat cat. But don’t freak out yet. This also means you’re happy. You may be a little bigger than the other cats on the block, but you don’t let it get you down.
You’ve always had great body image positivity, so you can eat whatever you want and not feel guilty about it. You are a professional relaxer. You do lazy Sunday every day, and while some people may judge you for that, it’s what makes you happy. So you do you. And never change.
You are the classic tabby cat. You’re what most people think of when they picture a cat. Cute and orange, and very friendly. You’re super into family, and you value your family members over everyone else.
You would much prefer to stay home bonding with you siblings than going out on the town with friends. Your personality is the first thing people notice about you: smiley and playful. You’re always upbeat, but occasionally experience small episodes of moodiness. But who doesn’t?
You are a bengal. Bengals aren’t fully domesticated, so you definitely have a bit of a wild side to you that you’re not afraid to show. You have unique style and you’re definitely more on the edgier side.
You’re mostly friendly, but you do have a temper and can sometimes be easily angered. You’re independent and have a coy sense of humor that either draws people towards you or causes them to lose interest. But either way, you’re definitely cute. And that can get you far.
You are a big cat. You’re not necessarily a domesticated pet or house cat, but rather a big roaring lion type. You have a strong will and instincts that come with living in the wild. You’re a good observer, and can gauge the energy of a room when you first walk in.
You’re good at reading people, which always comes in handy when assessing a situation involving meeting new people. You’ve always fended for yourself, which has made you independent and strong in all aspects of life.
You are a cute, baby kitten. You’re pleasantly naive about some things, such as not knowing that you shouldn’t touch the stove when it’s on. But you’re very curious and want to sniff and learn about every new thing you come in contact with.
You have a passion for learning, and you’re very playful. The interactions you have now and the people you meet early on will ultimately mold you into who you’ll grow up to be in the future. You’re independent, but you still need close connections to others to truly feel safe and happy.
You’re a barn cat who likes to run with the big shots. You’ve grown up around people (and cows) who are bigger than you, but that’s never been something that’s held you back. You’re not afraid to speak up for what you need when you need it, and your fearlessness has definitely helped get you where you are in life.
You’ve always had a passion for the outdoors, and you can often be found exploring new areas while reflecting inward on what you want in life.
You will never settle for less. You like to be treated like the princess you know you are. While to some people this may come off as arrogant or entitled, you really just don’t care. It doesn’t matter what others think of you, because there are always going to be people who will judge you no matter what you do.
So don’t let the haters get you down on life. You always stick to your gut feeling and trust yourself when it comes to making important decisions. You need everything to go your way or else you’re left stressed and anxious.
Sorry to say, you are a black cat. People think of you as bad luck, but that’s just because they don’t take the time to get to know who you truly are. But despite all stereotypes, you’re kind and loving. You prefer to have a few close friends who you truly enjoy, rather than rolling with a big group of people you don’t actually know.
That might have something to do with the fact that you can be hesitant to make friends with strangers because you fear being judged by others. But once people get to know you, they’ll be your friend for life. Because you are wonderful.
You are a cat with a funny object on your head. Whether or not you did it on purpose, you somehow always end up with something on your head. Whether it’s a flower or an orange, you never fail to surprise those around you with your quirkiness. You like to see the humorous side of life, no matter the circumstances.
You can easily laugh stuff off, which is mostly a good thing. People can tend to think you’re too silly, but believe us when we say that isn’t a bad thing. You definitely have a glass half-full type of outlook on life, and downers often envy your positivity.
You are the tough survivor that is the Maine coon cat. You turn heads when you walk into a room, partially because of how vocal and playful you tend to be. You’re very independent, but attention from those around you can make you very happy. You push and challenge yourself to be the best version of yourself, and you’re always willing to learn more by exploring.
Even if you’re so not a cat person, you can probably still find a bit of yourself in a cat. So the next time you come in contact with the mysterious pet that is the cat, say “hi.” It’s the least you can do.
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