Sex & Life
Sex & Life June 29, 2017
You deserve to have people in your life who actually care.
Relationships are all about love, compassion and empathy.
Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, once said, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” However, if you’re in a one sided relationship, you probably feel the exact opposite.
A one sided relationship, or “unrequited love” is defined as: “Unrequited is used almost exclusively in the context of romantic love. If you love someone and they don’t love you back –– that, my friend, is a case of unrequited love,” by Vocabulary.com.
This can occur in a marriage, relationship or even a friendship. Here, ENTITY is going to give you signs to look for in relationships to help you see if they are one sided:
“You can’t talk about something that has to do with you without it turning about them in some way.”
This is one of the biggest signs that your relationship is one sided. Anything and everything you bring up will ALWAYS wind up being about the other person in the end. Even if it’s a personal story about your family or co-worker, they will say “Oh yeah but this happened to me…”
If you feel like you’re talking about your partner (or friend) way more than yourself, it may be time to realize that your relationship is one sided.
“When you have a complaint, their reaction is always annoyance instead of trying to understand and communicate with you. As if you need to be there as entertainment and anything negative coming from you is a burden on them.”
Having been in a one sided relationship at one point in my life, I can attest to this. Any complaint, or even just wanting to have a conversation, is greeted with attitude, annoyance and a look of pain.
If your partner isn’t willing to hear you out and make things work, then they don’t care about you. Let’s be real. A relationship is about working together, communicating and compromising. When someone greets you with annoyance, they just don’t want to put in the effort. It’s time to bounce if this is a constant in your relationship.
“You are rarely, if ever, a priority — even when you are together, they would rather be doing something else than spend time with you.”
This is the true tell-tale sign of a one sided relationship. You are not prioritized. You are a back-up. They would rather hang out with ANYONE other than you, and when they do hang out with you, they seem bored, annoyed, aggravated or are just dying to go be with someone else.
If they aren’t making time for you now, they never will. If your partner is doing this to you, find someone better who actually wants to make time for you. You will be far better off.
“They never seem to have time for you, never really call or message you and if you need to chase them to hang out, then that’s probably a sure sign. The most obvious is if on social media they have lots of photos of things you were not invited to. If that’s the case, you might be their drinking buddy or ‘only if I’m desperate’ friend.”
We must never forget that friendships can definitely be one sided as well. If you’re a female who hasn’t had a one sided friendship, then consider yourself a special breed. You may think someone is your friend, but really they are just being two-faced because they don’t truly care about you.
If you think your friendship is one sided, you have two options:
1) If you’ve been friends with the person for a long time, try and have coffee with them and tell them how you feel. They may just be going through something you don’t know about.
2) If you truly don’t care about that person being in your life, drop them. I know it sounds really harsh, but they are using you and don’t really care about you. If they really wanted you around, they would invite you to things and make time for you, instead of using you as a placeholder.
“The other person puts in barely, if any, effort in the relationship. You do the initiating, planning, paying, traveling and emotional labor.”
One of the most common signs of a one sided relationship is that you are the only one trying to make it work. The other person couldn’t give a shit if the relationship continued or not, or even worse, expects you to keep the relationship running.
In this situation, you need to have a conversation and tell them that they need to make more of an effort, or you will stop trying and the relationship will ultimately die. If they don’t change their ways, then it wasn’t worth it to try in the first place.
“People often don’t know how good they have it until it’s gone. Start spending time on yourself. Start a few hobbies that take up your time and, chances are, he’ll notice and come around. If not, say goodbye or give him an ultimatum.”
This is one way to try and fix a one sided relationship. It can make your partner take notice of you and realize that they have something really good that they don’t want to lose. If it doesn’t, then you just improved yourself even more, which is never a bad thing.
Or, “you don’t fix it. You discuss it like adults and if that doesn’t take it anywhere, you have to cut the cord, man. It’s self destructive to subject yourself to that lack of affection.”
This is the ultimate way to try and fix a one sided relationship. Try to tell that person how you feel, how you need them to make more of an effort and see what they say.
They may want to try and fix the relationship, so give them the opportunity to do so. They also may show no interest in doing so. If so, it is time to get up and peace the eff out.
If you related to some of these signs, then you may be in a one sided relationship. Try to have a conversation with your partner about it, and if you can fix things, then great.
If not, then it is absolutely okay to leave the situation. You deserve attention and love from your partner, no matter what. If you think you might be in the wrong relationship, check out this ENTITY article on signs that you may be dating the wrong guy.
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