Relationships August 21, 2017
There's no shame in honing your own game.
Photo by BLACKDAY via ShutterstockAttention empowered women of 2017, grab your courage this Sadie Hawkins Day (November 15th) and finally go for it with the guy or gal you’ve been waiting to ask you out. After all, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, right?
And it’s okay now. Traditional gender roles are for our parents’ generation. There’s no shame in honing in your own game.
Usually, when a Sadie Hawkins Dance or Sadie Hawkins Day gets closer, ladies get nervous. But since we’re #WomenThatDo, we know we want and we’re willing to go out and get it. It’s just that sometimes we need a little push.
But don’t stress. It’s bad for your health. Just read through this article, find an approach that best fits your personality or situation and take that baby for a spin for Sadie Hawkins Day 2017.
Sadie Hawkins Day originated from a comic strip in Al Capp’s “Li’l Abner” during their November 1937 issue. Ironically, although Sadie Hawkins Day has become a day for women’s empowerment, it didn’t originate that way.
The comic strip starred a 35-year-old “homely spinster” that couldn’t nab a husband. So her father, the richest and most powerful man in the town, decided he would declare a day where she could chase down any man. And whoever she grabbed had to marry her.
The other “old” and “ugly” spinsters in the town loved this chance to find a husband and decided they would make this an annual holiday. And to make matters worse, in addition to this idea that 35-year-old women were too old attract a man, the man who wrote the comic, Al Capp, was also a misogynist and alleged rapist.
Thankfully, however, the day has broken free of those origins, and most high schools and colleges require that women ask for a date and allow their prospective dates to either accept or reject the offer. Yay, gender equality! So, for this Sadie Hawkins Day in 2017, note a few of the approaches below and make your move.
Taking into account the courage it takes to ask someone out, you’re already a winner whether your prospective date says yes or no.
This means ask the person any simple question that could get you both talking. The conversation could stem from a question as simple as, “Do you know what’s in a Snickerdoodle Frappuccino?” in Starbucks. Or the question could be as complex as, “Why do you think cats are scared of cucumbers?” in Petco. Although neither of you will probably find the answer to these questions on the spot, you’ll definitely start a conversation just trying to think of one.
Then strike with a follow-up question, such as, “I haven’t seen you here before, do you live around here?” or “Did your girlfriend send you on a dog sweater, run? Or is it for your dog?”
This part is the most important because it shifts into personal territory where you can learn more about the other person’s life. Like whether or not the person is even sexually attracted to you or if he or she is married with four kids, a dog and a cat.
After this little rundown, slipping the cutie in the store your number will seem like a piece of cake. “If you ever need someone to show you around town, call me.” Or you could say, “If you ever need help picking out a leather jacket for Spot, let me know. I’ve got connections with Petco’s fashion division.”
Don’t pretend like you don’t stalk your crush on social media for at least a week before you consider accepting an offer if you’re asked out. There’s no reason to feign surprise. A woman’s got to protect herself in this crazy “locker room talk” world. The good thing, however, is that your self-taught, private investigator skills could be the perfect way to land you that date on Sadie Hawkins Day.
If you notice your crush likes playing Ultimate Frisbee or that your prospect’s favorite team is the Cleveland Browns, use that as a way to spark up a conversation. Maybe you could buy some Browns tickets, and then ask for some company. Or maybe you could brush up on your Ultimate Frisbee knowledge and make a comment about who you think the best team is. Maybe you could even offer to throw a Frisbee around outside for a bit. You don’t have to be good. Just interested.
Really, the opportunities are endless with this approach.
This only works if you’ve met the person before. Since work and school might be a charged area to approach someone for a date since men and women usually hang out in packs. For the best experience in your attempt, the fewer people that are there, the better. Therefore, you might want to approach your crush in a more neutral space like a coffee shop or the grocery store.
And in this way, your conversation starter would be the age-old, “fancy running into you here” line. Or it could also be some variation of “I didn’t know you shopped here! I love it way better than [insert competitor here].” Then afterward, you can insert a question that could bring you both back to this place, together.
“You know they’re doing their Unicorn Frappuccino promotion next Wednesday. That looks pretty good. Do you want to try it together?” Or you can introduce another spot similar that you think the other person would enjoy. Something like, “If you love Ralph’s, you’ll absolutely die for Vons. Have you ever been there? I can show you the grocery ropes there and we could after party at the café that’s inside? What do you think?”
We know what you’re thinking, “Aren’t the other three options pretty direct?” Not really. You introduce the fact you’re interested in conversation, instead of overtly telling your crush straight-up.
The truth is, when you don’t directly tell someone you’re interested there’s a chance the other person might not get the hint. Someone people are really that dense. They need straightforward comments or they’ll miss the nuance. Therefore, this way takes a lot of courage, but at least it takes the ambiguity out of the rejection.
For straightforward approaches, you can simply start with an introduction, and explain how your crush caught your eye. Then, follow up with a direct question about your intentions. For example, “Hello, My name is Marsha, what’s your name? I noticed you walk in a minute ago and I can’t let this moment pass without asking you out on a date to get to know you more. Do you have a girlfriend? Would you like to go out with me this weekend to [insert bar or restaurant here]?”
This one is a lot more subtle than walking up to a person and striking a conversation, but it makes you no less powerful if you use it. Whether you already know them or not, this action can make the move easier for you and leave the ball completely in his or her court. If you execute this approach, you can send your number with a drink at the bar. If you’ve noticed your crush keeps ordering Hennessy and Coke, send over the same drink with your number placed on the napkin.
What’s less than ideal about this indirect approach is that your target might completely miss your number altogether. And what you might take as a snub was just him or her being unobservant. So although it’s on the safer side for you, it makes your chances of getting the call a lot less than the other options above.
What do you think? Which one of these approaches do you think will land you your Sadie Hawkins Day date? Maybe there’s one perfect option. Or maybe it’s a mixture of four. Regardless, we hope you at least try and shoot your shot this November for Sadie Hawkins Day. Good luck!
