Relationships August 7, 2017
Who knew Capricorns could be so violent?
Whether or not you believe in the accuracy of Zodiac personalities, it’s addicting to look at descriptions of your horoscope.
What is it about those horoscopes that make them so darn irresistible? Is it their mystical mascots? Their personality quiz features that make you feel like a unique, individual human being? There are even Zodiac dates based upon Zodiac compatibilities. Whatever your purpose may be, Zodiacs are just straight-up fun.
Henceforth, we’ve organized an abridged list of how the ten different Zodiac signs deal with an average obstacle. To aid our description, we’ve included our favorite “New Girl” Gifs.
The personality description for Aries is basically bravery, bravery and more bravery. Their eyes flare in the face of injustice, and they crush a problem with full force and deliberation. Out of all the Zodiac personalities, they definitely dish out the most unbridled valor.
So basically, if a tree fell in the middle of the path and they had to get past it, they’d probably punch their way through it.
The description for a Taurus personality usually includes the word “practical,” followed by their honorable trait of not living beyond their means. So basically, they’re kind of cheap. However, this can come in handy when faced with a problem, especially when most people rush to money when searching for a solution.
So if a tree falls in your pass, a Taurus would not even look up who to call for tree removal. Rather, they would Google “tree removal local free trial” and do their absolute best to avoid spending a single cent.
So Gemini is the twin-based one, if that rings a bell. Essentially, Gemini people always see a situation from two perspectives. This reportedly makes them good communicators, but it also makes them super confused about their emotions all of the time. However, out of all the Zodiac personalities, they are the best at learning multiple languages.
So a Gemini would look at the tree straight on, then closer up, then just kind of stand there ’cause they used their two perspectives for the day. They then might let out a good-natured chuckle. Then they might cry, because emotions.
If you thought Gemini seemed a bit bipolar, wait ’till you meet Cancer. People with the Cancer sign are said to be the most vulnerable when it comes to insults, and they can go through a huge range of emotions throughout the course of one day. So it’s basically PMS, but forever!
It’s not all bad though. Cancers like to be around a bunch of people at once, especially family members.
So a Cancer would see the tree, maybe sniffle a bit, laugh hysterically, then collapse in a puddle tears. Then they’d probably call their mom.
Leos are basically the party guests that bust a move on the dance floor before anyone’s even finished with their entree. They are super fun at parties, and they will definitely initiate every dance circle. If you’re figuring out which of the Zodiac personalities you should invite to your wedding, Leo definitely takes the cake.
So they would probably make a huge deal about scaling the tree with their hands and hopping onto the other side, but only after would they realize no one was looking. Then they shall be very sad.
So Virgos are basically the killjoys of the Zodiac. They’re really focused on what is morally right and wrong, and they’re really, really cautious about basically every decision they make.
The Virgo probably wouldn’t do anything about the tree, given all the environmental implications of getting rid of the waste when there’s no compost bin around. Then they’d stand there contemplating for a few hours.
So Libras have two, seemingly unrelated traits that characterize their sign. The first is the “sprint” trait. Libras tend to have a bunch of energy at one for something, they get super hyperactive and jazzed about it for a hot sec, and they kind of exhaust themselves and need a break.
Libras are also the main peacemakers of the Zodiac personalities. If everything is in balance and everyone is happy, Libras are at peace.
So a Libra would spring up to the tree at full force, run straight into it, then fall down in defeat. They would then commence to break up the fights that are happening between all the Zodiacs on how to remove the tree, because no one can agree on a proper solution.
Don’t get us wrong, Scorpios have a lot of positive qualities. They are sensitive, intelligent and intuitive beings. However, they are also masters in the art of grudge-holding. However, they will wait for the most opportune moment to bring it up.
So a Scorpio would see the tree is in the way, then remind a Libra that they though owe him $200 for baseball game tickets… which is ever so conveniently the amount for a tree-removal service.
If you’ve ever had a friend who breaks out in song during inopportune moments, they might be a Sagittarius. Sagittariuses (Saggitariae?) are chronic optimists, and they are super outdoorsy. However, it can be hard for them to take suggestions, especially if it’s not the most positive route.
So a Sagittarius might look at the tree and sit down, believing without a doubt that a good Samaritan will kindly clear it from their path. They also might break out their newest A capella cover of “I’ve Got Sunshine.”
According to most Zodiac websites, Caps sound like the opposite of fun to be around (and I take offense to this, being one myself). They’re the kind of person who will say, “I will get to the top, no matter who I have to step on” and you won’t be exactly sure if they’re being sarcastic or not. I like to think that Caps are just really goal-oriented, rather than the total jerks that several Zodiac websites describe them to be.
Based on the modern personality description of a Capricorn, they might take a chain saw and run toward the tree Sparta-style, and they might forget to warn everyone in front of them about their plan. Chainsaws make noise, though, so hopefully that’s warning enough?
People with the Aquarius sign are said to be super public people. They are most likely to join organizations, social groups and somehow be talking to ten people at once based on their text message history. An Aquarius may also be pretty emotionally vulnerable, so they’re the easiest to read out of all the Zodiac personalities.
So an Aquarius may call up all of their contacts with local tree-cleaning organizations, and they’re probably the most likely Zodiac to solve the problem, given their connections. However, they’ll be super bummed if their contacts don’t get back to them.
So people with the Pisces sign have basically the same descriptions as people who have smoked massive amounts of marijuana. According to 123newyear.com, Pisces tend to “retreat into their world of imagination” when life gets a little too real. Basically, it’s an elaborate coping mechanism.
So people with the Pisces sign may look at the tree, slowly curl into a fetal position, get a swirly glaze over their eyes and retreat to the land of unicorns and pixies.
So our answers were a bit exaggerated, but you get the picture. Regardless of how much you believe in horoscopes, it is nevertheless entertaining to consider how different Zodiac personalities would solve a simple problem.
